tired.. who can persuade me?

I'm never shocked when people let me down nowadays.. 

I just hate the fact that I put myself in a position to be let down in the first place.. really really big sigh.. huh! most all of people says life isn't hard, but only myself just too weak.. mmm... but how i can? damn! i don't want to care everything and want to forget it but my heart can't hide my pain.. so dissapointment. hmm.. but i'm sure that i can be stronger n harder to better in time..

I want to 0ut from this stringy problem and now i just  feel wanna doing something and getting it wrong is at least, doing bla bla bla or bla bla.. which carry me 0ut from this situation.. mmm.. ten times more productive than i'm doing nothing..here?? just making me feel walking to the hell owh.. i comes off as strong, but maybe i'm fell asleep crying.. but! no one will know whats going on.. no one ask, no one care.. suck! and when i acts like nothing is wrong, maybe i'll just really good at lying kamu tau. i know, i can't depend on anyone, but only myself.. but mm.. i'm not ready to face it ba..  i just miss my family at Sabah right now.. and really want to go back home.. want to hug them.. and don't want to back here again.. u know, i want to cry when i read this quotes one: "Whenever you go to the doctors and the doctor asks you what's wrong, you turn to your mom and she explains everything" and i am reminded my mom now and feel want to crying to much.. sad.. :'( sorry.. my broken english.. so, stay tuned! love ya..